bright ideas for entertaining

After Mrs. Herbert B. Linscott

Have guests coming over and don’t know how to entertain them? It’s your lucky day. Here lies a collection of fail-proof entertaining ideas for the hostess who never disappoints: You!

all about kate

This game is great for lovers of words. Fits perfectly before a luncheon—thinking works up an appetite! First give each guest a sheet of paper and a pen. On a paper large enough for all the guests to see, publish a numbered list of statements about Kate. On their own sheets of paper, guests will summarize each statement. Each summary must consist entirely of a single word which contains the letters c-a-t-e in sequence. For example: Kate is no longer here (va-cate). After twenty minutes, everyone must put down their pens and pass their papers to the person to the right. Then the hostess reads the answers aloud and whoever gets the most summaries correct wins a prize. Statements: Kate is no longer here (Vacate) Kate makes formal judgments to settle various matters of dispute (Adjudicate) Kate has a segmented wormlike body with several pairs of leg-like appendages (Caterpillar) Kate follows a summary of instructive principles of the Christian religion (Catechism) Kate manages to diffuse her anger (Placate) Kate distributes resources or duties for a particular purpose (Allocate) Kate supervises a store selling a selection of unusual and outlandish foods (Delicatessen) Kate deceitfully concocts information (Fabricate) Kate oftentimes renders things obscure, unclear, or unintelligible (Obfuscate) Kate chews things up into small pieces (Masticate) Kate speaks evasively (Prevaricate) Kate was officially excluded from participation in the sacraments due to moral violations (Excommunicate) Kate was smothered to the point of death (Suffocate)

halloween suggestions

Nothing is to be ordinary at Halloween. The usual customs, decorations, and formalities must be altogether banished. In their stead, we should encourage the mystical, creepy, and strange. The invitations you send out, your attire, and even the meeting place itself must be as mystifying as possible. Instead of your house, use a more rustic site for a Halloween gathering. A cleaned-out barn, an old gardening shed, whatever is at hand. Whatever the site, decorate it with pumpkins. Some real pumpkins can be placed on the ground against the walls. A few could be carved out with faces cut into them. A big toothless smile is nice, or a sadistic, jagged-toothed grin. In any case, if you choose to place a lit candle inside the pumpkin, the light cast will render the pumpkin face creepy and ghoulish. To accompany the real pumpkins, orange construction paper cut into pumpkin shapes could be hung on string from the rafters or taped onto the walls. More candles can exist outside a pumpkin as well. A small bedside stand could easily host a collection of candles of varying heights. If possible, spend some time before the party burning the candles down so as to produce a buildup of wax which might pile up on the table and roll down the sides of the candles. This apparent carelessness adds to the mystifying effect. For entertainment, there are manifold games to play on Halloween. As we’ve already established, guests adore having their fortunes told and peek giddily around every corner hoping to discover such an opportunity. To satisfy this predictable urge, you can set up a “Wheel of Fortune.” Simply cut a large circle out of a piece of wood or some other heavy material to serve as the wheel then poke a hole in the center. Affix a small knob or peg to the wall, smaller than the hole you cut in the center of the wheel. Then hang the wheel up on the peg and draw an arrow on the wall pointing down at the wheel’s 12 o’clock position. Draw lines like spokes, separating the wheel into 8 sections. As for the contents of the fortunes to be found on the wheel, consider writing the numbers 3, 6, 9, 12, 15, 18, 21, and 24 in the spaces. Each guest will take a spin on the “Wheel of Fortune” and whatever digit she gets indicates the number of months to pass before she will be proposed to, and soon after married. Instead of numbers, you could use colors, and next to the wheel have a key which explains the significance of each color—what can be expected in the near future of whoever lands on the color: Blue: A trip to the lake Red: An engagement Yellow: A new dress Black: A good night’s sleep Green: A hike in the forest White: The pregnancy of a relative Gray: A vacation abroad april fools dinner Seat your guests at the table, keeping up the appearance of normalcy. Laugh off April Fools’ Day if someone happens to mention it in passing, or simply remark that you had forgotten that today was that day—in effort to diffuse any growing suspicion. Since there is no fun—or at least no class—in pranking your guests by giving them non-food items, you can simply place foods in the improper dishware. Imagine the outcry of surprise when your guests discover that in the casserole dish is a salad! There will be sliced bread stacked in the gravy boat, drinking water served in salad bowls, fresh broccoli and carrots speared onto skewers. A freshly baked de-boned tuna will be smooshed into wineglasses and the mayonnaise will be poured from the water pitcher. The butter can be found sitting weakly in the center of a turkey plate and, by the appearance of the table-setting, the guests should be expected to use spatulas and whisks for common silverware rather than forks and knives! The wine will be in a punch-bowl and is to be drunk with soup spoons. The after-dinner coffee can remain after dinner, but it shall be served from a wine bottle and dispensed into shot-glasses. At which point the brandy bottle will be passed around the table and drunk from like a flask in the trenches. gypsy fortune-telling

As a rule, nothing interests guests more than having their fortunes told. All the more if the deed is done by an actual Gypsy—even if she’s an amateur. If you lack the genuine resources, conscript a sharp, cooperative girl off the streets and have her agree to play the part. Provide her with a small summary of the goings-on of the lives of the guests to be memorized. Tell her anything notable: your own thoughts or predictions about your guests’ future lives, secrets your guests might have told you in confidence, and especially, if any of the guests happens to be engaged or near engagement. Allow the gypsy to combine this information with her own inventiveness to produce a convincing and mystifying entertainment. Before the guests arrive, keep the gypsy at the top of the stairs in her mystical garb. When all the guests are gathered at the bottom of the stairs, direct their attention upward where the gypsy will descend the stairs on queue into the dimly-lit living room. She will seat herself at the table which you surrounded with a dark curtain where she can’t be seen. She will ask from within (in broken english) for the first person who wants her fortune told to enter. Take the other guests into the waiting room where they will talk excitedly in hushed tones as they visit the gypsy one by one. Some will come back blushing, some puzzled, some thoughtful, but all of them mystified.

Dustin is working on an MFA at Georgia College. He has won prizes at The New York Times, Caesura, and Willow Review, and has published in The Journal, South Carolina Review, the minnesota review, New Orleans Review, Natural Bridge, Chattahoochee Review, Euphony, and so on.

For more work by Dustin Junkert, visit his page at our Online Sundries site.

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